“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him….

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

“And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man….

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2: 18, 21-22, 24)

From the beginning, God intended for man and woman to work together.  They are to strive to be one.  This means working together toward common goals, making decisions together, and putting your relationship above those of your family of origin.  While we certainly need advice from our parents, we must stand united with our spouse.

“Healthy marriages consist of an equal partnership between a husband and a wife.  Many marital problems have as their root cause an unequal relationship or struggles over who has control in the relationship….Thus, research consistently finds that happy relationships are most likely to occur in marriages where the couple shares power and has a true partnership” (Miller, 2008).

I was blessed early in our marriage to read several articles about family councils.  My husband and I started having family councils where we would set family goals and individual goals.  We would discuss our budget and finances.  We would talk about any issues that were happening.  My children helped to set our family rules and what the consequences would be.  We divided up chores and talked about allowance.  If there was ever a change that needed to be made or a concern that someone wanted to bring up, we would talk about it once a month at family council and allow everyone to have a voice before we all decided on a solution together.  It has been a tremendous blessing in our family.  My children feel that they are a part of the decisions and what happens.  It has helped my husband and I to stand more united.  There is so much truth in the quote above and marriage needing to be an equal partnership and a sharing of power.  As President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “…the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side.  They are coequals” (Miller, 2008).  May we each learn to walk beside our spouses in greater unity and love.

Works Cited

Miller, R. B. (2008, March 28). Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships is Families. BYU Conference on Family Life. Provo: Brigham Young University.