On my living room wall I have the scripture,

These verses of scripture serve as a reminder to me and my family of how we want to treat each other.  It reminds us of the kind of love we want to have in our home.  It guides our interactions with each other.  In those moments of contention or frustration, it reminds us that there is a better way.

Dr. Gottman taught that the importance of understanding personal hopes and dreams when you are in gridlock, or arguing in circles.  He says, “Acknowledging and respecting each other’s deepest most personal hopes and dreams is key to saving and enriching your marriage” (Gottman, 1999, p. 253).  Many arguments and misunderstandings are because we don’t understand where the other person is coming from.  It helps to understand what their perspective is and what they see the future being.  Anytime you take two very different people from different family environments, there is bound to be some conflict.

Dr. Goddard says, “It is my view that most of us have misunderstood the purpose of marriage. It is not a picnic with friends. It is more like a college education with occasional joys, lots of growth, and abundant homework” (Goddard, 2009, p. 119).  That is so true!  Marriage is a lot of work and effort.  However, as we work to have more charity in our lives, we will be kinder and gentler with ourselves and with our spouse.  ”And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Corinthians 13:13).